I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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