I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
