Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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