And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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