I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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