glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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