So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
