Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
