please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
