ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
