She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
