you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
