So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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