i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
