WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
