The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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