I'm really into asian looking animals
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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