Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
