its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i out mim tonsoeep
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
