i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
