Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
His nipple licking is glorious
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