K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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