tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize