She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
