I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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