Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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