we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
