Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
