O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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