How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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