I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
