Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize