so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
COCAINE IS GR8
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
