the new term for farting is butt boxing.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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