That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
