I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
