Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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