Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
