I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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