I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
you never un-have a 4some
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
