and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
