You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my liver is dry heaving
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize