we have pet lesbian snakes
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
