I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
