Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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