THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
