I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
