I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Where is the hickey?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
