Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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