I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
