I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
