matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
