like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
